Soulmates
by a-perfect-melody
Summary: Lily Evans does not believe in soulmates. But maybe she wants to.


**Soulmates**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and accept no credit towards it. I am not the wonderful J.K. Rowling or any of her affiliates. Also, please note that there is a reference to the 1950's Cinderella and that I do not own that either.**

 **Warnings: one or two instances of bad language. No idea where but they're in there so...beware, I guess :p**

 **Hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated!**

 **Anyway, enough of my rambling.**

.

.

Potter and Evans.

She tries not to think about how nicely their names fit together.

 _James and Lily_.

They've always been more than two surnames on a parchment paper register.

She might be in love with him but she's sixteen and she's still not quite sure what love is.

The last boy she kissed was short and blond and tried to stick his tongue down her throat so she's pretty inexperienced in the field of romance.

Never mind that whenever she dreams, all she can see is black hair and hazel eyes rimmed by glasses and a loud, confident voice yelling " _oi, Evans_!"

Marlene says it's a sign.

True love, she calls it, soulmates.

Dreams are the wishes your heart makes, after all.

Lily doesn't believe in soulmates.

At least, Evans doesn't.

 _Evans_ is rational and realistic and smart and argumentative and all the things Potter wants her to be.

 _Lily_ is determined and dreamy and wants to believe in things she knows are impossible and maybe Lily is scared that she'll be all the things James just so happens to hate.

Lily Evans doesn't believe in soulmates.

But maybe she wants to.

.

.

Patronuses are funny things.

They don't mean anything, really.

Right?

It's not like just because she and James have the same sort of animal, it means they're destined for each other.

Marlene's already started planning the wedding.

For heaven's sake, it's a stag and a doe not Aphrodite and Cupid.

Written in the stars, Mary says dreamily and Lily wants to vomit.

But, at the same time, she wants to believe.

Believe that the smile on James' face when he saw her patronus was fate.

Believe that maybe she and James have a future outside six years of arguing and insults and brutal retaliation.

(He dropped a bucket of frogspawn on her head in first year. She still hasn't forgiven him for that.)

He touches her arm after class and winks.

Her hearts seems to speed up and her head spins and it's like every cliche movie she's ever seen except there's no kiss and no cheesy theme song just the sound of her heart in her head and the way he stares into her eyes like she's the only person left on earth.

God, she _hates_ **loves** how he makes her feel like that.

.

.

When Sev asks what her patronus is (not that she's talking to him), she lies and says a swan.

.

.

When Lily finds herself staring at James in class, she knows she's fucked.

When she looks at the stars and sees his hair as dark as the night sky, she thinks she might be a little too far in.

When she sees him snogging Emmeline Vance behind the greenhouse and feels that little prick of jealously ignite in her stomach, she wants to cry.

She told him she wasn't interested, she told him to back off, and it seems he's finally listened.

That's what she wanted, right? ( _no_ )

.

.

Alice, being the only sensible one in Lily's group of friends when it comes to boys, tells her to talk to him like a normal human being.

Lily, being embarrassed about having to admit to a crush on James Potter, doesn't listen.

She takes Marlene's (dubious) advice and tries to ignore him.

Isn't that what all the films have told her to do?

.

.

She's never been in love before.

The closest she's been is her first kiss at fourteen with her next door neighbour who was sixteen and wild and dangerous.

It was infatuation and lust and the size of Lily's breasts and not much else and the relationship (if it could ever be called that) quickly fizzled out.

She's never come close to love before.

Except now, whenever she thinks of the future and what it might bring, all she can see is James bloody Potter and his stupid eyes and his stupid hair-

Is this what love feels like?

.

.

There's a war going on, you know, outside the castle walls.

The teachers won't say much and the older wizards Lily sees on the street refuse to talk but she's not stupid.

She reads the news, stares at the Muggle reports, watches her world fall apart in front of her eyes.

Voldemort, that's what they're calling him.

Lily wonders how selfish she is to be worrying over a silly crush whilst others get murdered outside their walls.

.

.

A hundred dead in one night.

That's the size of her entire year.

Lily thinks how despicable you must be in order to wipe out an entire year of witches and wizards without feeling a single speck of remorse.

She flicks through the paper.

Sees broken, bloody bodies lying twisted out of proportion.

Feels red hot, fiery anger creeping up through her veins.

And she knows she's going to fight.

.

.

James is too.

Fight in the Order, she means.

She imagines missions with him, back to back as the wind howls round their faces and the storms whisper goodbye.

She imagines James kissing her before battle and how he would hold her hand at night and how they would get through this together.

Then Professor McGonagall snaps at her and she jerks from her daydream.

.

.

There's a party, at the end of sixth year.

Students are no longer allowed out of Hogwarts during term time (it's too dangerous) so the gathering is held on the Quidditch pitch.

The sun is already sinking low in the sky by the time Lily arrives and she has to push past several people in order to find her friends.

She kisses two people that night, one of whom she's not actually sure she knows. She thinks he might be a Ravenclaw.

The other is Sirius, who's dead drunk and stumbling around all over the place and mistakes her for Marlene as he plants a kiss on her lips.

When she exclaims loudly and pushes him away, he goes bright red and starts mumbling furious apologies but Lily's finding it more ridiculously stupid that annoying if she's honest.

Marlene whisks over and takes Lily's place at Sirius' side and Lily is left alone, drifting, wandering, through an endless sea of people.

"Hi."

James Potter taps her shoulder and she spins round to see him grinning, half lit cigarette in hand and a jacket slung over his shoulder.

"You want to get out of here?" He raises the cigarette to his mouth.

She shouldn't say yes (she's being sensible, rational Evans, remember?) but _Lily_ takes hold and so she agrees.

His smile gets a bit brighter and he offers her his hand and all at once they're running, sprinting through the crowds of people sloshing alcohol and stuffing pills into purses, and back through the doors of Hogwarts.

He leads her up to the Astronomy Tower, desolate and deserted but _beautiful_ and it's like they can see the whole world from up here.

"You like?" He teases, smirking at the look on her face and she blushes, turning to stare at him.

"It's okay." She shrugs and he merely winks.

"Want a smoke?" He says, passing her his and she accepts, taking a long drag of the cigarette and watching as the vapour she breathes out dances away in front of her eyes.

"You know, I don't think we ever talked about those patronuses." He says as he takes back the cigarette. She freezes, flicking away red hair and raising an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"Stag and a doe." James says, as if he's savouring the words. "It's gotta mean something, right, Evans?"

"Probably." Lily agrees.

"You're being particularly passive aggressive tonight." James remarks and, before she can stop herself, she leans forward and kisses him.

And it's nothing spectacular in itself, no magnificent fireworks or deep realisation, simply two teenagers making out on top of a tall tower, but to James and Lily, it's everything they've ever wanted.

It's dark and chilly with the cool summer breeze and the air stinks of booze and cheap Muggle cigarettes but the pair have never felt more alive.

.

.

When they break apart, she stammers out multiple apologies, her heart pounding and the breeze tangling their hair together but he grins and kisses her again, his breath ticking her ear as he whispers

"Soulmates, eh, Evans?"

.

.

 **So, a little more fluffy than my usual pieces. Let me know what you thought!**

 **As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day/night! Xx**


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